When you make the decision to leave the pity train you will find yourself in a state of mental flux, this may also translate into confusion in your physical state. During this period you are re-educating your conscious mind to do as the sub-conscious has always been saying.
Unfortunately the longer you put this off the harder it may become and you may become prone to sudden mood swings, this is because you are engaging in activities that are pushing your sub-conscious buttons, this triggers off the panic signals that trigger the extraordinary reaction to an ordinary activity.
Your conscious knows only too well what your weaknesses are and your sub-conscious knows the truth behind these weaknesses and inhibitions, when that activity touches both of these at the same time then you are in for a mood swing of gigantic proportions.
Of course when this does occur we revert to the safety zone our conscious mind has established over the years, the standard behaviour that
This is why its important to understand what is really triggering your mood swings and perhaps take time to consider what sent your friend or partner off on one of theirs!
Until we open ourselves to deep scrutiny without fear of humiliation or repercussion then and only then can we begin to unravel the protective mess that our conscious mind has created to keep us alive, yet not truly alive.
I am social but never really sociable.
I know this and remember making the decision to allow others to do the talking in my childhood and become the one that gets things done without fuss or glory, this has served me well but lead to a less than full life ever since.
Of course, if you want to get what you want rather that what you are given then you must become proactive and take the lead which means for me starting rather than joining social encounters. This may lead to rejection from some but until you understand what you want, this may simply be an indication that you are engaging with the wrong people.
When you make the decision to leave the pity train, you may have a rough time of it, a rough time discovering who you really are and who your friends are. Change never comes easy but the longer you remain on the train the harder it will become until finally your train runs out of steam and you are left with nothing but regrets.
I wish for you a live where you can say you truly lived, that can start today if you have the courage.